As the autumn sun sets on the third week of my break it seems appropriate that I reflect on my experience thus far. In the last few days I have shifted, probably in the wrong direction. The initial sense of euphoria of not being at work has subsided, giving way to a very familiar feeling - that I have so much to do, and so little time to do it. The hours slip by. I am battling a sense of failure, no matter how much I get done. This is my next challenge - to accept that on any given day it is realistic to expect that maybe a couple of things will get done. Not everything. This lingering feeling of inadequacy is a legacy, I guess, of the way we members of 'normal' society are programmed to chase achievement after achievement and acquire all we can...
The roads are filled with cars, charging in and out of lanes. Frustrated drivers heading from one dissatisfying aspect of their lives to another. Shops are crowded. No-one says hello. If something stops working we simply throw it away and buy another one. The bins are full. There is noise everywhere. People race from home to work and back again. Pushing food into our faces as quickly as possible so we can get to the TV in time for Idol. Wishing it was the weekend. Wishing it was summer. Wishing it was Christmas...
I am going to consciously slow down, smell the roses, and try and remain true to my reasons for running away from the madness in the first place.
This too shall pass.
www.bleakumbrella.com
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